The Willingness to Change

Hi everyone,

Welcome to my newest subscribers. Thanks for being here. You know, I originally started this publication thinking that I would be focusing mainly on poetry, but I ended up branching out and including blog form articles, list articles, and other types of writing. Don’t let some kind of obligation to stick with your original vision keep you from expanding. Do what feels right to you now. I’ve thought sometimes about changing the name of this publication, but so far no new name is really giving me that “Yes!!! This!” kind of vibe. So, since poetry is one of the things I write, the name stays.

Free subscribers will see a preview of this and other posts. Paid subscribers will see the entire post. Paid subscriptions are what allow me to keep writing. So, to all those who support me, thank you so much.
If you are encouraged by my work and would like to read more, but are facing financial hardship, send me a message or email me at susannah@susannahcragwick.com and I’ll get you taken care of. There is no shame in struggling.

A Small Note (Please pardon me for venting.):
In January 2025, I closed my American Stripe account (Stripe is the payment system Substack uses to process payments from paid subscriptions) and linked my new European Stripe account to Substack.

After this change was made, those who were paying subscribers before January 2025 became unable to renew their paid subscriptions and have been receiving “no such customer” errors when they try to upgrade. To everyone who has faced this, I sincerely apologize.

I have been trying since before Thanksgiving to solve this issue, and I have been in that endless circle where Stripe says to contact Substack and Substack suggests contacting Stripe, and no one solves anything.

Frankly, I’m tired and yes, somewhat angry that Substack and Stripe can’t seem to get their shit together. Ooook calm down, Susie. *deep breath*. Ok. Thanks for letting me vent. Let’s move forward.

Here is what I have decided to do: If you were one of my paid subscribers in the past and are receiving errors when you try to upgrade your subscription, just message me or email me at susannah@susannahcragwick.com and I will give you access to all my paid content. Then, if you want (there’s no obligation), we can find other ways for you to support my work.

Here are a couple ways readers can support my work:

1. Support my work via PayPal using the email susannah.cragwick@hotmail.com.

2. Support my work via Patreon.
I just created a Patreon account yesterday and will be posting my paid content on Patreon as well for those who prefer Pateon over Substack. Feel free to join my Patreon.
Here’s the link to my Patreon account: https://www.patreon.com/SusannahCragwick

I am taking this week to rest. So, content will begin appearing on my Patreon next week. Thank you for your support and patience through this process.

Lastly, if you haven’t watched or listened to it yet, I encourage you to check out the podcast I recorded with Madness Cafe Podcast. This was such an empowering conversation.

Watch our podcast here:

Listen to our podcast here: https://madnesscafepodcast.buzzsprout.com/1805042/episodes/16612198-190-redefining-self-after-indoctrination-with-guest-and-super-fan-susannah-cragwick

The Willingness to Change

The things, habits, and strategies that served as safety mechanisms when you were going through a traumatic time in your life can become what hinders you later in life.

This is my paraphrased version of a quote I heard a while ago, a quote that has been on my mind for some time. I couldn’t find the original source. So, if you know, feel free to message me.
As I go through the process of healing from past trauma and navigating the difficulties that I face now, I am going deep into my subconscious mind and working to identify these hindrances which I once saw as things that keep me safe or even empower my success.

We all face difficulties in life and, as a result, we develop behaviors, habits, and strategies to help lessen or avoid pain, to protect ourselves and those we love, and to just be able to survive.

Surviving trauma is really twofold for me. Because of my own strength, the support of my mother, siblings, and others, and other factors, I have been, at times, able to help others who are in traumatic situations and have been able to give advice to people as they try to help loved ones navigating trauma caused by abuse. Because of what I have seen and what I have survived, I can sometimes recognize signs of abuse and trauma reactions that others might not. While it is true that I may not have gained these skills if I wasn’t a domestic violence survivor, I firmly believe that telling anyone to be grateful for pain, for abuse they’ve endured is a form of gaslighting. It is sometimes a way to make people believe that their pain was meant to be part of their story, that God wanted them to go through pain. Encouraging gratefulness for pain can be a way of silencing people.