There is hope within all that we are. Our very identity is our strength. Woven into our DNA is the ability to overcome. As we navigate through difficult emotions, we welcome and remain open to our own humanity, not merely as a reluctant acceptance of our imperfections, but as a starting point of reclamation, of honoring stillness, peace, change and transformation all wanting to dwell within.
Emotions can be so difficult to carry. So often, we don’t understand them, the way they change, why certain emotions seem to surface suddenly. Through this journey, I am learning to allow my emotions to exist and to learn from them. Instead of condemning myself, “You need to cheer up, focus, move on, push forward,” I’m allowing myself to explore, “Why do I feel this way? What do I need in this moment?” And I’m working on taking even small steps to bring the needs revealed by my emotions into the space of being truly acknowledged and letting the process of fulfilling those needs begin. My husband and I have been through a lot this year. If you have had to navigate and learn to survive in the midst of withdrawal and side effects of medications related to mental health, know that you are not alone. Because of all that we’ve gone through, my fear sensors sometimes activate in a way that is so overwhelming. At times, I feel intense fear and panic when my husband is at work or even if he is in another room for what I perceive as longer than usual. Instead of telling myself, “Don’t worry. Everything is fine. Breathe,” I find that it is more meaningful and useful to give myself some form of assurance. If I start to experience worry when my husband is in another room, I come to talk with him, to check on him. If I feel stress or worry during his workday, I call him to hear his voice. We have actually set up a safety plan where he contacts me at different points during his day so that I can know that he is alright. And if something is wrong, we are able to begin taking necessary steps. Don’t condemn yourself for feeling uncomfortable emotions, for having emotions that you can’t understand. Sometimes our emotions are an indicator or what our body and mind need. They are a sign of our system craving transformation, of boundaries needing to be established. They are a sign that, instead of putting pressure on ourselves to just accept and feel peaceful within discomfort that actually needs to be remedied, instead of forcing ourselves to feel inwardly positive in an environment that does not manifest outward positivity, the environment itself needs to change or we need to distance from it for the sake of our own well-being. May you experience peace, fulfillment, and courage as you process all that it means to acknowledge your emotions. May your emotions be your road to freedom. Thank you so much for reading my writing, for your support of my work. As always, my writings are free to all those who want to read and share them. The paid subscriptions on Substack are a way of offering extra support for my work and funding my much needed supply of fun journals, cool pens, and dark chocolate. You all bring me joy. Thanks for being with me on this journey. Have a wonderful day, Susannah
WOW!!! You CONTINUE to surprise me, in a good way, with your writing, Susie! :) I can see, through your writing, that you are navigating through Sam's & your difficulties very well! Keep doing what you're doing & WRITE ON!!! :) Love ya, Girl!
Loved this post. What do I need right now?
Listening closely to my emotions for direction....