Moonlight

I keep thinking of all
I’ve thought didn’t belong to me,
looking at definitions of healing
and all my system tried to embrace,
yet society wanted me to ignore.

To feel my breath is powerful;
I arose from embers still burning.
To feel my own breath, my source of peace
is humanity wrapped in awareness
of all that it means to center one’s identity
on more than just flaws and sin.

When I encapsulate the luminescent moonlight
of my mind guiding my soul,
I find the path that I myself forged centuries ago.

I am here in Finland and honestly wishing that I was back in Montana, and I find myself questioning the definitions of home, belonging, centering, and meant to be. I’ve spent so much time and been through so much in the years that I have tried to make this place feel like home. Some days I’m cozy here, belonging, secure at peace in conversations in between sips of hot chocolate. Other times my world is shaken and I feel trapped here. I see this place as the place where horrible things happened to me, and I find myself wanting to run from here in attempts to find peace with this mindset that pairs in some way with “If you don’t get back in the water, you can’t come close to drowning again.” The truth is that I did not choose to be here. Finances, necessity, and my husband’s job are really the only reason why I’m here. I don’t say that with bitterness, but rather truth and a desire to be authentic in the way I communicate. I don’t love it here. I love things about being here, and it’s ok to acknowledge that there’s a difference between those. So, I try to find peace, home, comfort, freedom in a place where all of that was taken away, and I contemplate how peace and chaos, love and confusion blend in all that is human and within all that I must let myself express.
If we struggle to feel settled and at home in the place where we are, perhaps it’s time for a change, and for me I don’t know if that change will be in terms of location or if that change will be within how I function, but all I can do now is breathe through answers forming and questions flowing.

Thank you for being here.

I’ve had some of my subscribers tell me that they want to work on their own writing, that they are interested in sharing their work, but are not sure how. I’m not a writing coach, but I’ve somehow managed to write on here pretty consistently for the last few years. That means something for sure. So, I thought I would experiment with putting questions or perhaps sometimes prompts to inspire your writing. If you want to share your work with me, feel free to message me or email me at susannah@susannahcragwick.com.

Poetry Prompt: Use one or all of these to create a poem (or really any piece of writing that energizes your soul).

1. Home as humanity
2. Home as breath
3. Moonlit soul

Have a wonderful day,

Susannah