I saw a post on Facebook this past week where a Girls Scouts leader was kindly asking that, if someone didn’t want to buy cookies from her girls to please just simply say, “No, thank you.” She asked people to not cite their weight, being on a diet, how fat the cookies would make them, etc. as a reason for not buying.
It brings me joy to see how much she cares about the well-being of her girls. She doesn’t want them to learn to shame their bodies, that they are not good enough just as they are.
Yes. Let’s break this cycle of fear and shame. Let’s stop teaching our daughters and each other to shame our bodies.
It’s interesting thinking about habits I’ve had pretty much my whole life. If I am at home, I eat what I want. I’m free. I’m comfortable. I’m being myself.
However, if I’m at some kind of social gathering, I’ve often checked to see how much others are taking, and even if I’m very hungry, I don’t take more than others around me because I don’t want to “look like a pig”. My sense of caution, fear, and shame within this subject has deepened; I’ve felt a greater sense of shame, needing to control myself, fear of being viewed negatively, etc. especially when I am in spaces with only women.
I want freedom not only for myself, but for all of the women and girls who have struggled with this.
There is something deeply wrong with the fact that I have gone through my whole life fearing that I would “look like a pig”, someone who is lazy and doesn’t care about her body, that I’ve gone through my whole life essentially shaming the desires and needs of my body.
Sometimes my reason for not eating or eating less than I want or less than my body is telling me she needs has been because of the words of other women.
“Oh my god! That’s gonna add 100 pounds to my waistline.”
“I’d have to run 100 miles on my treadmill to work that off.”
“Do you have any idea how many calories are in that?”
There is nothing wrong with being health-conscious, with making sure we are eating a healthy, balanced diet.
However, we need to also think about these things:
Does the way in which I’m talking about my habits and my body have the potential to cause other women and girls to shame their bodies, to view themselves negatively, to be afraid to be their true selves?
If so, how can I change the way I speak?
I don’t have any perfect formulas, but I do have some ideas.
Instead of “I’m going to have to (insert exaggerated statement of extreme exercise) if I eat that”, perhaps, the better way to think and speak about it would be, “I’m going to enjoy this delicious snack because I deserve it. I’m going to exercise to prioritize my health, enjoy nature, spend time with friends, etc.”
Exercise is a benefit to our health; it is not a punishment for eating. Give your mind and soul freedom and choose to set others around you free as well.
If you don’t feel like eating or don’t want a specific sweet, salty snack, etc., just simply, as the Girl Scouts leader said, say, “No, thanks” or “not right now” or just simply don’t take anything. Encourage other women to eat what they want and to enjoy themselves.
You do not have to express caution or fear of eating or gaining weight to make others respect you, to make others see that you care about your health.
Let’s stop shaming each other. Let’s stop shaming ourselves.
We deserve to nourish our bodies. We deserve to experience joy and confidence within what we eat and how we rest and exercise.
We deserve to love and be gentle with our bodies. We deserve to be a source of encouragement and empowerment for ourselves and those around us.
We deserve freedom from the shame and fear misogyny obligated us to carry.
I will not shame myself. I will not speak in ways that make other women shame themselves.
Join me. It ends here.
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Again, thank you for being on this journey with me.
Have a wonderful day,
Susannah
YOU GO GIRL! You are such a good "cheerleader" for girls & women WORLDWIDE now! Keep up the good work!!! Love ya, Girl! :)