Childless by Choice
“Frankly, the whole concept of owing someone children is insulting not only to those who don't desire to have children, but to all women, to all mothers.”
~Susannah Cragwick~
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Childless by Choice
I decided at a pretty early point in my life that I did not want to have children. To others like me, I want to offer some encouragement. You are not doing anything wrong by not wanting children. You are not failing to fulfill your role as a woman; you are not angering nor saddening some divine entity by choosing to live your life the way you want. "Others disagree with your life choices" and "you're making the wrong choices" are not synonymous even if people have tried again and again to convince you otherwise.
A while ago, my mom was talking to an acquaintance who asked when Samuel and I were planning on having kids. My mom responded telling the other person that wasn't part of our plans as a couple. They then proceeded to declare to my mom how selfish I am for not giving her grandchildren. One of my greatest gifts is knowing that, in that moment, my mom defended me.
You do not owe anyone children. Frankly, the whole concept of owing someone children is insulting not only to those who don't desire to have children, but to all women, to all mothers. Although it may be said in a cheerful optimistic tone, telling a woman that she owes her parents grandchildren, that she should give her husband another baby, that big sister needs a little brother or even that she did a good job in fulfilling those requirements are all ways of telling women that someone else deserves to control what they do with their bodies, how they live their lives. The concept that women owe their husbands children is not only idiotic in that the wording fails to address the fact that the man has some involvement, but it is also dangerous. Many women throughout history and sadly continuing into today have been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused for not giving their husband children.